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Wednesday 28 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37091) - you deserved it (12630)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37076) - you deserved it (12545)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

#20861161
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36991) - you deserved it (2154)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by Tag (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my daughter managed to crash my car. It's okay though, the insurance will cover it. However, it won't cover all the items she damaged crashing into a garage sale. FML

#20856229
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36730) - you deserved it (2942)

On 08/27/2013 at 6:17am - kids - by Idontknowwhattodo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36652) - you deserved it (5968)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36387) - you deserved it (6029)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36374) - you deserved it (5901)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36371) - you deserved it (2424)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

#20858957
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (2994)

On 08/29/2013 at 6:44am - love - by sorejecteditmakesmewannacry (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

#20857055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35912) - you deserved it (7172)

On 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm - misc - by sweetnan (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, after spending the weekend together, my ex turned nasty. I finally had the balls to tell him what a cruel asshole I think he is and really hit him where it hurts. I felt very empowered and strong. That is, until I realized I left my favourite and rather expensive jacket in his apartment. FML

#20854612
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35847) - you deserved it (14378)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:52am - love - by scorned_jacketless_lady (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

#20858152
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35832) - you deserved it (2343)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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