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Wednesday 28 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46674) - you deserved it (4081)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46600) - you deserved it (3671)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46435) - you deserved it (11399)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

#20866213
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46255) - you deserved it (2740)

On 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

#20859830
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45808) - you deserved it (2539)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:33am - work - by pizza girl - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45776) - you deserved it (3121)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45652) - you deserved it (3472)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

#20856967
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45488) - you deserved it (6612)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:23pm - love - by dhskkf (man) - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

#20860701
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45401) - you deserved it (5731)

On 08/30/2013 at 6:56pm - love - by >_< (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45367) - you deserved it (2944)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45314) - you deserved it (19278)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45197) - you deserved it (3319)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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