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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

#20848347
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38964) - you deserved it (3492)

On 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Jade (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

#20858152
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38872) - you deserved it (2742)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

#20846310
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38807) - you deserved it (2633)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:18pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML

#20846128
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38730) - you deserved it (7120)

On 08/20/2013 at 9:41am - health - by no that does not help (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after spending the weekend together, my ex turned nasty. I finally had the balls to tell him what a cruel asshole I think he is and really hit him where it hurts. I felt very empowered and strong. That is, until I realized I left my favourite and rather expensive jacket in his apartment. FML

#20854612
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38685) - you deserved it (15375)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:52am - love - by scorned_jacketless_lady (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized the only reason I was invited to go on vacation with my extended family was so I could babysit everyone's children while the adults go out and have fun. FML

#20850802
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38499) - you deserved it (2735)

On 08/23/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML

#20857695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38326) - you deserved it (3123)

On 08/28/2013 at 9:25am - misc - by AtLeastHaveADecientExcuse -

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

#20855520
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37920) - you deserved it (3140)

On 08/26/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML

#20854169
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37836) - you deserved it (3276)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:10pm - misc - by etgohome (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML

#20847276
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37743) - you deserved it (6724)

On 08/21/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Beegee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37561) - you deserved it (3269)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

#20844606
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37229) - you deserved it (6733)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - work - by oops (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people used to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were invented. FML

#20847442
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37230) - you deserved it (3364)

On 08/21/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by verydepressed - Russian Federation (Tomsk)



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