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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML

#20851228
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45273) - you deserved it (5209)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45219) - you deserved it (3324)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML

#20847659
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44983) - you deserved it (5376)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:08am - misc - by shut_up (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44592) - you deserved it (9591)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

#20852114
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44560) - you deserved it (3173)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by cassidy_smith12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML

Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal for a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained and shat their pants. FML

#20846305
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44424) - you deserved it (2979)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:14pm - kids - by CrappyDay - United States

Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML

#20854811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44316) - you deserved it (3670)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by 4_and_20_blackbits (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44253) - you deserved it (3112)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

#20850517
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43988) - you deserved it (3833)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:06am - health - by themarrowguy - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

#20850902
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43668) - you deserved it (3440)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm - misc - by fucking financial ruin (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

#20850669
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43647) - you deserved it (10871)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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