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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

#20848347
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38991) - you deserved it (3497)

On 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Jade (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

#20858152
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38906) - you deserved it (2746)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

#20846310
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38826) - you deserved it (2633)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:18pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML

#20846128
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38754) - you deserved it (7124)

On 08/20/2013 at 9:41am - health - by no that does not help (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after spending the weekend together, my ex turned nasty. I finally had the balls to tell him what a cruel asshole I think he is and really hit him where it hurts. I felt very empowered and strong. That is, until I realized I left my favourite and rather expensive jacket in his apartment. FML

#20854612
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38709) - you deserved it (15382)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:52am - love - by scorned_jacketless_lady (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML

#20854169
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38677) - you deserved it (3355)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:10pm - misc - by etgohome (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized the only reason I was invited to go on vacation with my extended family was so I could babysit everyone's children while the adults go out and have fun. FML

#20850802
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38522) - you deserved it (2737)

On 08/23/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML

#20857695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38357) - you deserved it (3125)

On 08/28/2013 at 9:25am - misc - by AtLeastHaveADecientExcuse -

Today, I was at the beach. I'd recently decided to try the "life hack" where you empty out a bottle of lotion and hide small valuables in it, to avoid them being stolen. I'd put the bottle in my bag. Instead of stealing stuff from inside it, though, someone just stole the whole bag. FML

#20853767
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38120) - you deserved it (9684)

On 08/25/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

#20855520
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37940) - you deserved it (3143)

On 08/26/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML

#20847276
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37775) - you deserved it (6727)

On 08/21/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Beegee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37560) - you deserved it (3272)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people used to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were invented. FML

#20847442
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37262) - you deserved it (3365)

On 08/21/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by verydepressed - Russian Federation (Tomsk)



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