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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

#20857611
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44451) - you deserved it (5220)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:33am - kids - by Alice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was feeling guilty about an argument I had with my mother right before she left to go shopping. When she got back, I ran to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. Unfortunately, in the process, I knocked over and broke her new $200 vase. FML

#20851970
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44449) - you deserved it (8093)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:23am - misc - by horrible daughter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping to me while pointing at his dick. FML

#20850372
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44443) - you deserved it (4507)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:23am - misc - by NotInterested (woman) - United States

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44358) - you deserved it (3298)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

#20852599
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43982) - you deserved it (4542)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm - kids - by thanks mom ¬_¬ (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43854) - you deserved it (2768)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

#20852134
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43660) - you deserved it (16353)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by cpmolly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

#20854112
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43637) - you deserved it (4783)

On 08/25/2013 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that if someone flushes a toilet the same time I'm starting the washing machine, my house will flood. FML

#20844207
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43602) - you deserved it (2727)

On 08/19/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by Ben - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a customer spent ages bitching me out, because he refused to believe he needed to upgrade his computer, which still runs Windows 98, in order to install a modern game for his grandson. He ended up calling my manager and trying to get me fired for scamming him. FML

#20853843
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43488) - you deserved it (2592)

On 08/25/2013 at 3:28pm - work - by what the fuck (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

#20844605
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43420) - you deserved it (3685)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by FamilyLoving - United States (New York)

Today, I was told that I looked like a Kardashian by a total stranger. Flattered, I asked which one. His response? "I don't know, the ugly one." FML

#20848594
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43397) - you deserved it (5604)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by theuglyone - Canada (Ontario)



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