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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

#20850902
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43773) - you deserved it (3447)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm - misc - by fucking financial ruin (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my last day before I get my colonoscopy. I've been on a strict chicken broth and jello diet in preparation. My dad thought it would be hilarious to drag me out to one of the best restaurants in town just so I could watch everyone else eat their delicious meals. FML

#20849387
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43752) - you deserved it (2862)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Cavite)

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

#20850669
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43735) - you deserved it (10897)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43504) - you deserved it (2522)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was feeling guilty about an argument I had with my mother right before she left to go shopping. When she got back, I ran to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. Unfortunately, in the process, I knocked over and broke her new $200 vase. FML

#20851970
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43430) - you deserved it (7924)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:23am - misc - by horrible daughter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

#20845941
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43358) - you deserved it (4170)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

#20853141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43353) - you deserved it (9128)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:30am - love - by Tyler - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

#20851738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43105) - you deserved it (2807)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Holding - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was told that the $500 I'm owed for babysitting isn't going to happen. Why? Because after six months of watching a friend's six children, she's moved 120 miles away and no longer needs me. FML

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42971) - you deserved it (3174)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42955) - you deserved it (13824)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States



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