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Tuesday 9 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48705) - you deserved it (17835)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

#20778274
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48409) - you deserved it (7062)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML

#20774465
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48340) - you deserved it (4435)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia

Today, I was at a music festival, and my mum had told me not to to drink. Someone threw a cup of beer at me, and I was worried about smelling of alcohol. It's okay though, because a second cup of urine took the alcohol smell right away. FML

#20779336
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48195) - you deserved it (3994)

On 07/13/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Festivaler - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML

#20783919
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48161) - you deserved it (8469)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:46am - misc - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48050) - you deserved it (13546)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47832) - you deserved it (3266)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States

Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML

#20783466
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47736) - you deserved it (4030)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Sam - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47706) - you deserved it (3547)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

#20770379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47661) - you deserved it (3322)

On 07/08/2013 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47294) - you deserved it (3156)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

#20786059
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47258) - you deserved it (14091)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML



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