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Tuesday 9 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46700) - you deserved it (5609)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

#20780355
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46691) - you deserved it (3673)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML

#20783466
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46434) - you deserved it (3928)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Sam - United States (Illinois)

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

#20781189
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46279) - you deserved it (3390)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46123) - you deserved it (4542)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46112) - you deserved it (2815)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45837) - you deserved it (12850)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

#20778274
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45812) - you deserved it (6711)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45480) - you deserved it (3096)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45194) - you deserved it (2953)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

#20777868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (6320)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm - love - by ElodieUNU (woman) - France

Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML

#20783362
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (2666)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML



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