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Tuesday 9 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

#20784458
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50754) - you deserved it (8398)

On 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50320) - you deserved it (3454)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got my laptop back after my friend broke it a few weeks ago. As I walked back into our place with my laptop in my bag, the same friend burst out and tackled me. My bag fell and slammed into the floor. Guess who has to pay for another repair. FML

#20772448
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50078) - you deserved it (4254)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by random person - United States

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50038) - you deserved it (4385)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

#20782097
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49784) - you deserved it (17053)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by peniswoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave: "He's out of my league; you're not." FML

#20777616
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49749) - you deserved it (4049)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49477) - you deserved it (4146)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49463) - you deserved it (3272)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

#20774202
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48862) - you deserved it (3472)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by my honest father - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48695) - you deserved it (4597)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

#20778274
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48367) - you deserved it (7057)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML

#20774465
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48307) - you deserved it (4433)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia



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