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Thursday 4 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

#20757403
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49311) - you deserved it (4126)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:38am - love - by Gracie-Ann (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

#20768896
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49277) - you deserved it (5147)

On 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by roseland (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML

#20761131
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49212) - you deserved it (3120)

On 07/03/2013 at 2:48am - work - by grammarnazi-forareason (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML

#20772026
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49141) - you deserved it (3755)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:05am - love - by thirdwheel - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48952) - you deserved it (8615)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got my laptop back after my friend broke it a few weeks ago. As I walked back into our place with my laptop in my bag, the same friend burst out and tackled me. My bag fell and slammed into the floor. Guess who has to pay for another repair. FML

#20772448
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48710) - you deserved it (4120)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by random person - United States

Today, I found out why my bank balance is so unusually low. It turns out that I bought a car in Indonesia. I've never been to Indonesia. FML

#20766607
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48498) - you deserved it (2526)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, not only do I work as a garbage man, but I had to pick up a used, bloody tampon that someone decided to throw on the ground rather than in a garbage can. FML

#20768438
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48238) - you deserved it (4563)

On 07/07/2013 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47425) - you deserved it (6658)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML

#20762512
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47286) - you deserved it (3063)

On 07/03/2013 at 10:40pm - animals - by nakedweddingday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend gives out my number to guys who ask for hers. Let's just say that I'll never be able to unsee the pictures that were sent to me. FML

#20768089
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47093) - you deserved it (3611)

On 07/07/2013 at 1:21am - intimacy - by nomorenakedpicsplease - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

#20766944
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47060) - you deserved it (4390)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)



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