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Thursday 4 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105797) - you deserved it (12484)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76454) - you deserved it (3868)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70913) - you deserved it (4575)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

#20768398
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69204) - you deserved it (22705)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69123) - you deserved it (8120)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68262) - you deserved it (5484)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68204) - you deserved it (5898)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64825) - you deserved it (3770)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62471) - you deserved it (11729)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML

#20773825
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61248) - you deserved it (4317)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by mike - United States

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61190) - you deserved it (3813)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML

#20774058
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60871) - you deserved it (5516)

On 07/10/2013 at 10:18am - love - by Paige (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

#20776380
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60768) - you deserved it (3783)

On 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by yayme. - United States (North Dakota)



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