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Thursday 27 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML

#20762512
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49247) - you deserved it (3240)

On 07/03/2013 at 10:40pm - animals - by nakedweddingday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

#20755685
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49194) - you deserved it (18930)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, what started off as an amazing date with my girlfriend ended with me driving her drunk ass home while she sat in the backseat making out with her new boyfriend. FML

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49068) - you deserved it (14031)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, after spending months learning Chinese, selling my house and everything I own for my big transfer to Hong Kong, my boss decided I should instead go to our other branch across town. FML

#20761984
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48967) - you deserved it (2672)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:01pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML

#20753013
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48890) - you deserved it (4408)

On 06/28/2013 at 7:22pm - misc - by arse-face (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

#20744693
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48704) - you deserved it (7161)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm - health - by SillyScotsman - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

#20743925
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48221) - you deserved it (2909)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:38am - money - by pumboc (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

#20757856
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48089) - you deserved it (10009)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

#20762850
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48088) - you deserved it (4524)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by brokeandhungry - United States

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

#20759731
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47895) - you deserved it (5059)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

#20753919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47687) - you deserved it (3181)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:01am - kids - by mskawaiibat - United States (California)



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