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Tuesday 25 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36298) - you deserved it (3089)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States

Today, I was doing a little victory jig after finally sending out the last of the invitation cards for my wedding when I realised that I had forgotten to put the date of the event on them. FML

#20749970
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35766) - you deserved it (20694)

On 06/27/2013 at 8:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

#20747890
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35761) - you deserved it (7171)

On 06/26/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

#20756560
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33831) - you deserved it (28793)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML

#20752773
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33603) - you deserved it (4849)

On 06/28/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31308) - you deserved it (5832)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26084) - you deserved it (40517)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

#20749220
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25593) - you deserved it (32274)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by blahblah (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25386) - you deserved it (46141)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

#20754108
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25237) - you deserved it (35913)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24934) - you deserved it (64276)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18996) - you deserved it (59229)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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