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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

#20679212
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40145) - you deserved it (3616)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20660668
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39872) - you deserved it (3964)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

#20672345
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39805) - you deserved it (4872)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)

Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML

#20666712
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39549) - you deserved it (10487)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39301) - you deserved it (12556)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

#20679582
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39214) - you deserved it (10078)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

#20679356
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39104) - you deserved it (3419)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, while on my way to an important interview, I was stopped and ticketed for speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed up, I was told they forgot to call and let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38414) - you deserved it (3296)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

#20679773
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38223) - you deserved it (13357)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38174) - you deserved it (4968)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

#20677224
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37681) - you deserved it (3088)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)



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