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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

#20663640
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41520) - you deserved it (6793)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

#20679212
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41520) - you deserved it (3716)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

#20661400
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41400) - you deserved it (2912)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41229) - you deserved it (6515)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40933) - you deserved it (13011)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

#20679582
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40718) - you deserved it (10453)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States

Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML

#20666712
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40692) - you deserved it (10821)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, while on my way to an important interview, I was stopped and ticketed for speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed up, I was told they forgot to call and let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40185) - you deserved it (3426)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

#20679773
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (13571)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38927) - you deserved it (5029)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML

#20680205
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38824) - you deserved it (3525)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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