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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40904) - you deserved it (4821)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

#20667457
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40779) - you deserved it (9062)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by meepdaleap - United States (Virginia)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40751) - you deserved it (3090)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

#20673625
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40643) - you deserved it (5579)

On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML

#20662395
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40387) - you deserved it (3956)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by CrappyCar (woman) - United States

Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML

#20673563
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39956) - you deserved it (3920)

On 05/19/2013 at 6:33pm - animals - by rach (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20660668
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39774) - you deserved it (3954)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got an email saying the gift I'd ordered for my boyfriend of three years had been sent. I ordered it a couple of days ago because I thought he needed cheering up. I guess he found a better way of doing so himself; he broke up with me yesterday. FML

#20677289
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39772) - you deserved it (2834)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:24am - love - by moikristine - Norway (Akershus)

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

#20679212
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39727) - you deserved it (3594)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

#20672345
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39713) - you deserved it (4867)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

#20671146
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39712) - you deserved it (4779)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Guanajuato)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39668) - you deserved it (4059)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

#20663640
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39259) - you deserved it (6537)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)



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