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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

#20670246
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38953) - you deserved it (4871)

On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38892) - you deserved it (3198)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

#20677176
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38731) - you deserved it (3748)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38608) - you deserved it (3763)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

#20676306
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38550) - you deserved it (2402)

On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (18932)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

#20672990
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38492) - you deserved it (2525)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

#20671268
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38462) - you deserved it (2862)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

#20673056
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38363) - you deserved it (7784)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

#20667457
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38297) - you deserved it (8670)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by meepdaleap - United States (Virginia)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38161) - you deserved it (2873)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML

#20669324
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37973) - you deserved it (12722)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm - health - by sprainedankle - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37671) - you deserved it (4530)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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