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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML

#20664891
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44999) - you deserved it (9992)

On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

#20672990
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44984) - you deserved it (3007)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44886) - you deserved it (22291)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States

Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

#20664946
79 comments

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

#20676306
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44512) - you deserved it (2843)

On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44452) - you deserved it (3647)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

#20668366
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44154) - you deserved it (3699)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

#20673056
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44089) - you deserved it (8481)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

#20668938
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43932) - you deserved it (5371)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

#20670019
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43903) - you deserved it (12751)

On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

#20665269
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43795) - you deserved it (3219)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43562) - you deserved it (20869)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43535) - you deserved it (3522)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States



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