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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40634) - you deserved it (20144)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States

Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML

#20666985
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40541) - you deserved it (2957)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by earplugsplease (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40431) - you deserved it (3015)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML

#20666438
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40407) - you deserved it (5284)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:31am - money - by astalkerindeed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

#20672246
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40017) - you deserved it (23035)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39793) - you deserved it (11270)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

#20668366
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39357) - you deserved it (3317)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States

Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML

#20676942
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39282) - you deserved it (2554)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

#20677338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39273) - you deserved it (2543)

On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML

#20664891
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39209) - you deserved it (9259)

On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

#20670019
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39110) - you deserved it (11333)

On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

#20668938
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38986) - you deserved it (4889)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States



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