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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50732) - you deserved it (5597)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50622) - you deserved it (3431)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50597) - you deserved it (3726)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML

#20665722
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50576) - you deserved it (3117)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm - health - by LordCrafte (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50418) - you deserved it (9518)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50191) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50125) - you deserved it (3468)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49774) - you deserved it (7340)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49508) - you deserved it (3795)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49439) - you deserved it (3179)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49428) - you deserved it (2870)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49116) - you deserved it (5158)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49103) - you deserved it (6881)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States



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