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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

#20670515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51550) - you deserved it (19643)

On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

#20671163
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51435) - you deserved it (4355)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

#20677848
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51431) - you deserved it (4911)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by mammasboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50106) - you deserved it (7014)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm planning my big sister's wedding. My long-term, live-in boyfriend walked by and saw me looking at the wedding tab on Pinterest, smirked, and said, "Don't get your hopes up." I had. FML

#20674650
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49711) - you deserved it (7444)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:47am - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

#20660591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49423) - you deserved it (2862)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49367) - you deserved it (4510)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

#20670402
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49292) - you deserved it (5042)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48614) - you deserved it (5419)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

#20675286
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48342) - you deserved it (4230)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48225) - you deserved it (3264)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML

#20665722
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48099) - you deserved it (2924)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm - health - by LordCrafte (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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