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Wednesday 8 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

#20656774
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49666) - you deserved it (5768)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML

#20657778
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49554) - you deserved it (4121)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49551) - you deserved it (5290)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48748) - you deserved it (5431)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48633) - you deserved it (3358)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48494) - you deserved it (2806)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

#20652046
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48227) - you deserved it (2887)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:44pm - kids - by rachelllynne - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML

#20665722
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48214) - you deserved it (2933)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm - health - by LordCrafte (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48212) - you deserved it (9198)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48123) - you deserved it (6363)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

#20647971
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48035) - you deserved it (2872)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:21pm - kids - by bet a woman would've been thanked (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47909) - you deserved it (10535)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47900) - you deserved it (4312)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States



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