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Wednesday 1 May 2013

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Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

by clumsy / 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML

by Fatty Fatty Fatso / 05/04/2013 at 8:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

by itsellie27 / 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

by LilaTheGreat / 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

by luvs2spooge89 / 05/01/2013 at 10:27am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

by FML136969 / 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

by random / 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 5:48pm / United States / Work

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

by QueenOrangeSoda / 05/01/2013 at 5:33pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.