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Wednesday 1 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

#20633909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42081) - you deserved it (3398)

On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML

#20636616
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41875) - you deserved it (6472)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41830) - you deserved it (8717)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

#20649324
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41752) - you deserved it (5181)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

#20632227
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41260) - you deserved it (8689)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

#20649461
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40995) - you deserved it (14783)

On 05/08/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by Sebastian20 (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40847) - you deserved it (3887)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

#20632607
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (4302)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by good husband - Canada

Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML

#20639678
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40568) - you deserved it (5522)

On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20640490
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39564) - you deserved it (14839)

On 05/04/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by Tickettoride (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

#20632603
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (13526)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38335) - you deserved it (8390)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38017) - you deserved it (3171)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)



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