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Wednesday 1 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

#20629715
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46272) - you deserved it (11684)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:08am - intimacy - by unforgettablee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a big party planned. All but one of the guests cancelled. See you at 7, mom. FML

#20630222
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46264) - you deserved it (3649)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I'm on holiday in Ghana. After having worn an anklet I bought here for the past two weeks, I was told that it's used by the local prostitutes to advertise their trade. FML

#20637157
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46156) - you deserved it (7162)

On 05/02/2013 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML

#20638400
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45791) - you deserved it (3136)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:35am - work - by clutzasaurus (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45697) - you deserved it (11248)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

#20647961
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45626) - you deserved it (5924)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

#20636797
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45377) - you deserved it (13434)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML

#20647629
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45302) - you deserved it (3618)

On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

#20636451
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45072) - you deserved it (6219)

On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

#20633517
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44548) - you deserved it (5034)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:31pm - money - by honeynuggetviolin -

Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML

#20638884
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (3435)

On 05/03/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML

#20631493
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43913) - you deserved it (3360)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by SierraCheyenne (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML



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