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Sunday 14 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML

#20606960
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50651) - you deserved it (7191)

On 04/20/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by MaggotMother (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

#20582376
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50602) - you deserved it (4980)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

#20608351
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50478) - you deserved it (4516)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML

#20605576
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49932) - you deserved it (3401)

On 04/19/2013 at 5:50pm - misc - by sherrylynn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

#20604222
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49655) - you deserved it (21802)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Wallz99 (man) - Pakistan (Azad Kashmir)

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49463) - you deserved it (6455)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML

#20592891
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49244) - you deserved it (3662)

On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States

Today, when I was talking to my younger brother, he suddenly said "Oh, I was supposed to tell you that there's this girl who has a huge crush on you!" I asked who and he answered, "I totally forgot her name, that was like 2 months ago." FML

#20589493
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48903) - you deserved it (3882)

On 04/14/2013 at 3:28am - love - by MissedTheBoat (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48847) - you deserved it (9345)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML

#20583666
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48809) - you deserved it (6499)

On 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by a - United States

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML

#20609136
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48592) - you deserved it (4925)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48286) - you deserved it (13782)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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