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Sunday 7 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

#20569989
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38467) - you deserved it (3934)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38434) - you deserved it (9226)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38420) - you deserved it (5893)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

#20578916
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38074) - you deserved it (5080)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37881) - you deserved it (7989)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing Draw Something with my girlfriend, when I decided to start a game with some other people. She immediately accused me of "cheating" on her, and still refuses to talk to me. FML

#20571699
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37617) - you deserved it (4748)

On 04/02/2013 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37514) - you deserved it (2614)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

#20576079
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37457) - you deserved it (9452)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm - money - by Z'ev - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

#20582191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37409) - you deserved it (4132)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37325) - you deserved it (3331)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

#20579905
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37181) - you deserved it (8298)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML

#20571565
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37092) - you deserved it (8843)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



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