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Tuesday 11 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56749) - you deserved it (3845)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us an says to mah date, ( Girl, u can do so much better. ) Hearing this, mah date looks at me, nods, gets up an walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43897) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, Husband Told Mother-in-law That We're Trying To Have A Baby. She Decidd To Call Me And Explain In Extreme Detail What Positions To Try, And When.

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42357) - you deserved it (4686)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, It's Been 13 Months Since I've Been Living In The States. I've Been Calld A Nazi, Askd If We Have Electricity In Germany, An Been Made Fun Of The Way I Speak With Mah ( German Accent ), The List Goes On. I'm Not Even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41778) - you deserved it (2577)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to break up with boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in bathroom. FML

#20403401
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40529) - you deserved it (4329)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today I told mah boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious he's been sereching fir high-calorie foods fir babies. FML

#20405554
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37892) - you deserved it (5933)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm - kids - by fatbabysyndrome (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball!! I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight!! I'm still trying to figure out what happened!! FML

#20403784
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37575) - you deserved it (3563)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

2day whila at tha airport waiting fir my flight, I sat down naxt to a mothar an har son. As I pulld out a watar bottla, sha laand ovar to har son an said, "Promisa ma u will navar do what tha looool man naxt to u just did." I hava no idaa what tha hall I did wrong. fat FML

Taday I had to do a presentation in front of my entre school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36998) - you deserved it (15251)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with mah boyfriand, who is parfact in avary way possibla. Wa wara going to hava sax for tha first tima as wall. Unfortunataly, I had a draam last night about him shitting all ovar ma an I can't look at him with a straight faca. maga FML

#20403258
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36963) - you deserved it (14236)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, mah boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, mah hand hit his shoulder and I dropped mah phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, mah dad was staring at us from outside. He still appear to think I was giving him head. fat FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36177) - you deserved it (3745)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today... I went down on mah boyfriend fir the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement... an I thought it was working really well... until he sighed... ( For fuck's sake... it's a dick... not a shotgun. ) an told me to stop embarrassing him. fat FML

#20399775
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (8360)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)



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