Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16296) - you deserved it (6581)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16296) - you deserved it (6879)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

#20173791
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16295) - you deserved it (903)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML

#20168119
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16212) - you deserved it (2016)

On 11/18/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

#20167613
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16106) - you deserved it (1940)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15707) - you deserved it (14616)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15683) - you deserved it (1266)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15260) - you deserved it (6205)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15224) - you deserved it (3328)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15158) - you deserved it (3479)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14812) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

#20166731
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14732) - you deserved it (1604)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

#20178213
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14724) - you deserved it (864)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: