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Friday 29 May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29448) - you deserved it (2484)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

#21415473
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28125) - you deserved it (2012)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it's been exactly 2 years since I graduated college. I make less money in my full-time job now than I did working part-time in college. FML

#21416055
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (2454)

On 05/26/2015 at 12:50pm - money - by Real Life Sucks - United States

Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML

Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML

#21415827
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26101) - you deserved it (1575)

On 05/25/2015 at 11:50pm - work - by tmi4me - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with another woman. They told me to leave so they could finish, and that "we'll all talk this over later." FML

#21416749
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (1774)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by hellno (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

#21416031
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25537) - you deserved it (2633)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:40am - intimacy - by shitty shit - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML

#21415477
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24984) - you deserved it (6923)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while sick with the flu, I had the police called on me by my older neighbors downstairs. They thought I was hosting a party at 3 in the morning. I was really just throwing up constantly. FML

#21415404
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24829) - you deserved it (1489)

On 05/25/2015 at 7:39am - health - by Hooperist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my landlady if she could fix the air conditioner that's been broken since I moved in. Instead, she came round and took away my bathroom mirror, along with all the toilet paper. FML

#21415859
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (1750)

On 05/26/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by meh (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

#21415763
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24101) - you deserved it (1568)

On 05/25/2015 at 10:24pm - misc - by wrestling probs - United States



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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