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Sunday 2 August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

#21447950
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26115) - you deserved it (1840)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML

#21448362
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25302) - you deserved it (3886)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:02am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25299) - you deserved it (2040)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (3128)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24877) - you deserved it (1856)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML

#21449050
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24697) - you deserved it (1375)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by HF44 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML

#21449035
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24688) - you deserved it (1960)

On 07/29/2015 at 11:30am - money - by fukingtigans (man) - Croatia (Zadarska)

Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML

#21447917
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24160) - you deserved it (4744)

On 07/27/2015 at 5:25am - misc - by NoOrdinaryNZer - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML

#21448086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23929) - you deserved it (2218)

On 07/27/2015 at 3:12pm - misc - by Not turnt - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my boss for a promotion. "You don't work here but I can give you a job application." I've been working here for 8 years. FML

#21448654
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23631) - you deserved it (1698)

On 07/28/2015 at 4:44pm - work - by Application - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to start jogging to keep fit. I was passed about ten times by the same car, carrying four bozos whose vocabulary consisted only of, "TITTIES!" and copious amounts of giggling. FML

Today, I had to wait thirty minutes after closing to check out a lady who was purchasing 20 different styles of curtains. I asked what she would be doing with them all, and she replied that she would be bringing 19 of them back tomorrow, as she didn't know which would match. FML

#21448838
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23508) - you deserved it (1524)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:04pm - work - by jlmbull - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23435) - you deserved it (1324)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)



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