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March 2015

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Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML

#21374802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28880) - you deserved it (4074)

On 03/15/2015 at 12:23am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML

#21368246
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28856) - you deserved it (2467)

On 03/04/2015 at 8:18pm - misc - by neverforgetyourphone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a 16-hour work day, I came home to my husband. I talked to him for about 10 minutes, then realized that he wasn't answering me but had his headset on and was talking on Xbox live. Not even playing a game, just talking. FML

#21377531
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28872) - you deserved it (3529)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:35am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, my neighbor at my apartment building told me water from my sink was leaking into his apartment. He told me to call maintenance to fix it, but they won't help unless he calls. He refuses to, and I can't do my dishes without feeling like an asshole. FML

#21368266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28813) - you deserved it (2516)

On 03/04/2015 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about it, she now just sits and stares at me judgmentally whenever I'm in the same room as her, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. FML

#21376248
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28733) - you deserved it (5379)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:00am - intimacy - by distressed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to "Get a life. Or better pickup lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

#21377103
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (3511)

On 03/18/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by fuck (man) - Netherlands

Today, as I was closing up at my sandwich-making job when a huge bus full of basic, snobby, preppy cheerleaders came in. They literally "can't even" decide what they want. FML

Today, my sister and I went to visit my grandma. She looked at my sister and said, "You are just so skinny! You need to eat more cookies!" She then turned to me and said, "You should lay off the cookies!" FML

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML

#21374265
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28546) - you deserved it (6346)

On 03/14/2015 at 4:22am - intimacy - by sa la vash (woman) - Netherlands

Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML

#21370942
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28504) - you deserved it (6940)

On 03/09/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by why they bomb - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

#21378617
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28496) - you deserved it (4036)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

Today, while my in-laws were visiting, my two-year old accidentally pushed the door wide open while I was sitting on the toilet. My mother-in-law laughed, took out her cell phone, snapped a picture of me and posted it on Facebook for everyone in our family to see. FML

#21379759
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28458) - you deserved it (2895)

On 03/22/2015 at 9:58pm - kids - by Mary C. (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

#21379134
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (2307)

On 03/21/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by tobuscus9412 - Australia (New South Wales)



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