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March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29371) - you deserved it (3523)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29355) - you deserved it (4297)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

#21378617
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29328) - you deserved it (20)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about it, she now just sits and stares at me judgmentally whenever I'm in the same room as her, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. FML

#21376248
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29267) - you deserved it (5409)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:00am - intimacy - by distressed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after a 16-hour work day, I came home to my husband. I talked to him for about 10 minutes, then realized that he wasn't answering me but had his headset on and was talking on Xbox live. Not even playing a game, just talking. FML

#21377531
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29254) - you deserved it (3531)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:35am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29165) - you deserved it (2408)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my neighbor at my apartment building told me water from my sink was leaking into his apartment. He told me to call maintenance to fix it, but they won't help unless he calls. He refuses to, and I can't do my dishes without feeling like an asshole. FML

#21368266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29127) - you deserved it (2672)

On 03/04/2015 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to "Get a life. Or better pickup lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

#21377103
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28967) - you deserved it (3516)

On 03/18/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by fuck (man) - Netherlands

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML

#21374265
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28904) - you deserved it (6423)

On 03/14/2015 at 4:22am - intimacy - by sa la vash (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML

#21368246
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28860) - you deserved it (2469)

On 03/04/2015 at 8:18pm - misc - by neverforgetyourphone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

#21382684
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (1698)

On 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm - love - by biblepain - United States (Arizona)

Today, my sister and I went to visit my grandma. She looked at my sister and said, "You are just so skinny! You need to eat more cookies!" She then turned to me and said, "You should lay off the cookies!" FML

Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML

#21370942
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28554) - you deserved it (6944)

On 03/09/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by why they bomb - Canada (British Columbia)



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