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February 2015

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Today, I threw up on a police officer who was trying to do a random breath test. I wasn't drunk or hungover. I'm pregnant and suffering morning sickness. FML

#21356993
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31763) - you deserved it (2018)

On 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31634) - you deserved it (2774)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

#21355097
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31578) - you deserved it (2577)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:59pm - money - by NotMacklemore - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31559) - you deserved it (3246)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a few months told me he couldn't stay overnight because his mom would yell at him for not coming home. We're both 30 and I didn't know he still lived at home. FML

#21350278
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31443) - you deserved it (3570)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:42am - love - by thenewgirl29 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's 1 year old. FML

#21360646
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31419) - you deserved it (2293)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31386) - you deserved it (4716)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31376) - you deserved it (3795)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

#21354562
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (2751)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Mkimmi (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML

#21348144
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31267) - you deserved it (2018)

On 02/02/2015 at 1:41am - work - by CalledOut (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

#21355292
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31267) - you deserved it (3731)

On 02/13/2015 at 11:13am - love - by cyprianista - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML

#21351283
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31263) - you deserved it (2076)

On 02/07/2015 at 12:13am - animals - by juliette (woman) - United States (New York)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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