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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML

#21392030
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30412) - you deserved it (2297)

On 04/11/2015 at 9:53pm - misc - by scared4myhair - United States (Michigan)

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

#21394577
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30357) - you deserved it (3808)

On 04/16/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by HM (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML

#21398482
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30263) - you deserved it (2314)

On 04/23/2015 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML

#21391103
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30143) - you deserved it (2132)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:28am - work - by jobless - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML

#21389096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30088) - you deserved it (1998)

On 04/07/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by cat.imakittycat. (woman) - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I got grounded because my mom found a condom in the bathroom trashcan and assumed it was mine. I took the blame because I was too embarrassed to admit that it must have belonged to my 13-year-old brother, since I'm still a virgin at 19. FML

#21391452
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30073) - you deserved it (4646)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:16pm - misc - by uglybrother (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

#21388711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29980) - you deserved it (1858)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by therewasnocurtain - United States (Idaho)

Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML

#21388006
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29939) - you deserved it (3304)

On 04/05/2015 at 11:38am - misc - by tardspawn (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I woke up to it raining. My area really needs it, so it's great. I didn't expect to wake up to a hole in the roof though. FML

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

#21390121
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29823) - you deserved it (3722)

On 04/08/2015 at 5:17pm - misc - by Notre_Dame_714 - United States

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (1948)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

#21388685
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29789) - you deserved it (8929)

On 04/06/2015 at 3:38pm - love - by rhunter17 -

Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML

#21396211
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29696) - you deserved it (4246)

On 04/19/2015 at 12:34pm - love - by leonuniz (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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