Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29997) - you deserved it (1994)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29920) - you deserved it (3591)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

#21403099
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29823) - you deserved it (2022)

On 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm - health - by I'm just sick, really - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

#21402824
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (5551)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29783) - you deserved it (2742)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29784) - you deserved it (2207)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

#21404993
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29703) - you deserved it (1839)

On 05/05/2015 at 6:50am - work - by GotGasNotLuck (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

#21402720
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29669) - you deserved it (3425)

On 05/01/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by Crombinator - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

#21410138
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29646) - you deserved it (4194)

On 05/14/2015 at 6:17pm - love - by what even - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML

#21406350
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29627) - you deserved it (2244)

On 05/07/2015 at 6:22pm - love - by alaina2001 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29532) - you deserved it (3042)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML

#21403907
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29447) - you deserved it (2251)

On 05/03/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by umyuck - United States (Virginia)

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

#21405167
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29432) - you deserved it (3100)

On 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: