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February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

#21523145
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19555) - you deserved it (2593)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Alex - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML

#21522623
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19529) - you deserved it (1572)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:59pm - health - by FueledByFate - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

#21522144
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19454) - you deserved it (1759)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:27pm - misc - by oh, shit...... - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML

#21521764
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19421) - you deserved it (1448)

On 02/01/2016 at 11:37am - love - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

#21521769
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19417) - you deserved it (4868)

On 02/01/2016 at 12:00pm - intimacy - by IsThisRealLife (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got into a car accident. The other driver was going so fast that when we hit, our cars positioned themselves to make it look like it was all my fault. He keeps blaming me for everything and the position of the cars doesn't help. FML

#21524343
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19334) - you deserved it (1238)

On 02/09/2016 at 7:39am - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML

#21522996
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19323) - you deserved it (1774)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Sgt_Jackrum (woman) - United Kingdom (Sandwell)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been crushing on for months is actually 15 years old. I'm 22. Not only is it gross, but it's also illegal. FML

#21524349
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19228) - you deserved it (3945)

On 02/09/2016 at 8:08am - love - by abnormallyadam - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the only thing that kept me hard during sex with my wife was thinking about my own naked body. FML

#21523607
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19165) - you deserved it (6958)

On 02/07/2016 at 4:17am - intimacy - by weirdoe (man) - Italy (Sicilia)

Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML

#21524824
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19091) - you deserved it (1569)

On 02/10/2016 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML

#21521652
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19095) - you deserved it (1254)

On 02/01/2016 at 1:07am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my cat shoved his claw up my nose and got it stuck there. FML

#21523143
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19094) - you deserved it (1735)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:51pm - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Florida)

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

#21522994
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19072) - you deserved it (6674)

On 02/05/2016 at 4:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



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