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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband decided he would rather be with his mistress than with me while I gave birth to our first child. FML

#21456262
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25792) - you deserved it (2031)

On 08/15/2015 at 4:22am - love - by MissyPants - United States (California)

Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML

#21453385
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25625) - you deserved it (1677)

On 08/08/2015 at 2:23am - love - by single (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (2592)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I got fired from my part-time job, because I insisted on keeping my phone in my pocket and never using it, instead of putting it in locker without a lock or security camera, that anyone can go through. The manager found out by searching my locker for the past 3 weeks. Ironic. FML

#21452906
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25434) - you deserved it (2032)

On 08/06/2015 at 8:29pm - work - by Chesty Larue - United States

Today, after nearly 2 years, my now ex-girlfriend decided she was ready to have sex. Specifically, sex with my dad. FML

#21459616
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25438) - you deserved it (1568)

On 08/23/2015 at 9:45am - love - by pontwa (man) - Australia

Today, feeling very self-conscious about my looks, I told my mom I felt ugly and wished I could be as beautiful as her. She only said, "Yeah, I'm pretty, I wonder what happened to you." FML

#21452786
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25317) - you deserved it (2643)

On 08/06/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by ugly duckling - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML

#21452247
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25304) - you deserved it (2240)

On 08/05/2015 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was unaware that me losing my virginity was also breakup sex. FML

#21460101
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24932) - you deserved it (2295)

On 08/24/2015 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

#21457909
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24906) - you deserved it (3798)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I entered a painting I'd worked on for weeks into an art competition. I won nothing. I wouldn't care so much if the guy I lost out to hadn't submitted a blank canvas and called it a "conceptual piece". FML

#21452227
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (1685)

On 08/05/2015 at 12:47pm - misc - by thekyledavid (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my boss at my new job described a client as "retarded". I corrected him with "mentally disabled". He smirked and replied "Whatever. Just explain things to her real slow. After all, she's 'mentally disabled'. And a woman." I need this job so bad that I'll have to just put up with this asshole. FML

#21453104
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24871) - you deserved it (3114)

On 08/07/2015 at 10:27am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML

#21451161
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24868) - you deserved it (2060)

On 08/03/2015 at 1:31am - health - by sendhelp - United States (Utah)

Today, my boss bitched me out for violating workplace privacy, after he found an FML post from last year that eerily resembled a situation that happened the same year. He thought I posted it and twisted things to make him look like an idiot. I've never posted here in my life. FML

#21458477
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24856) - you deserved it (2247)

On 08/20/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)



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