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February 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34411) - you deserved it (4909)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

#21355556
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34288) - you deserved it (2323)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm - misc - by DumbFace714 - United States (California)

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21349595
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34241) - you deserved it (3674)

On 02/04/2015 at 10:16am - intimacy - by Grrrreat (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

#21352465
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34231) - you deserved it (2687)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

#21352091
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34195) - you deserved it (2602)

On 02/08/2015 at 1:28pm - misc - by sorry :/ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34168) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML

#21352624
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33988) - you deserved it (3038)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by wtf?? - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and still waitressing at a local restaurant. There were only 3 of us serving today and things were hectic. One guy bitched me out, saying "Maybe if you lost some weight you'd walk a little faster!" because I wasn't fast enough with his soup. FML

#21359797
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33941) - you deserved it (2397)

On 02/20/2015 at 12:56pm - work - by blahblah1993 - United States (Texas)

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33813) - you deserved it (2285)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33579) - you deserved it (2970)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

#21360278
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33498) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/21/2015 at 8:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

#21353835
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33478) - you deserved it (4002)

On 02/11/2015 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Yupppp. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

#21351947
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33468) - you deserved it (3405)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands



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Friday 27 February 2015

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