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March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my professor for his opinion on the subject I plan to study in my thesis. Turns out, he likes it so much that he's going to steal it from me. FML

#21372437
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33189) - you deserved it (2565)

On 03/11/2015 at 10:01am - work - by nothesisforme - France

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

#21368848
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33143) - you deserved it (6748)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33127) - you deserved it (6061)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

#21371408
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32926) - you deserved it (2388)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm - misc - by MyMomIsInsane - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (3355)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I got a laptop for my birthday. I was thrilled until I realized that my mom had given away my old one without asking. 6 years of games, music, and pictures down the drain. FML

#21367193
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32653) - you deserved it (2318)

On 03/03/2015 at 10:34am - misc - by Hi-Tech (woman) - Europe

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32649) - you deserved it (2027)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML

#21377225
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32564) - you deserved it (5033)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm - kids - by Stressed Mother (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32507) - you deserved it (3023)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

#21370369
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32454) - you deserved it (2713)

On 03/08/2015 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnet)

Today, my day began with a "Good morning, beautiful." and ended with a "Maybe someone would love you if you were pretty." FML

#21368646
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32412) - you deserved it (2330)

On 03/05/2015 at 12:36pm - love - by cheshirealyce (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

#21376116
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32196) - you deserved it (2923)

On 03/17/2015 at 1:09am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after seven people at work approaching me and asking me if I was 'that lad from the paper', I picked one up to see what they were talking about. Turns out my doppelganger is a man who brutally murdered his older brother last year. FML

#21367159
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31971) - you deserved it (1882)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:01am - misc - by definatelynotamurderer (man) - United Kingdom



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