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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my housemates are throwing a huge house party to celebrate finishing their finals. It's 4:30am and people are still arriving. I have my last final in 3 hours. FML

#21415194
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19698) - you deserved it (1423)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by Party Pooper - United States

Today, I was being chased by the cops, not because I'm a criminal but because I thought the SUV with red and blue lights was an ambulance, not a police officer trying to pull me over. I kept weaving out of his way for 5 minutes before I finally figured it out, and got my first ever ticket. FML

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

#21403035
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19076) - you deserved it (21836)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm - work - by RavingLunatic (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

#21415031
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18742) - you deserved it (2790)

On 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by ugh - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18296) - you deserved it (7232)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18215) - you deserved it (34475)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML

#21405647
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18164) - you deserved it (31143)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML

#21414941
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17808) - you deserved it (4705)

On 05/24/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by kalvin (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

#21415473
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17422) - you deserved it (1255)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza and ended up falling asleep on my coach. FML

#21406331
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16536) - you deserved it (24207)

On 05/07/2015 at 5:43pm - money - by NevertheKool (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

#21413860
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15899) - you deserved it (17720)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:36am - health - by missko519 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

#21404798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15774) - you deserved it (26851)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm - work - by Jobless in Seattle - United States (Texas)

Today, while sick with the flu, I had the police called on me by my older neighbors downstairs. They thought I was hosting a party at 3 in the morning. I was really just throwing up constantly. FML

#21415404
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15587) - you deserved it (925)

On 05/25/2015 at 7:39am - health - by Hooperist (man) - United States (California)



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