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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my babysitter has been selling the breastmilk I produce for my baby and replacing it with formula, while still taking my money every week. FML

#21453691
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28363) - you deserved it (2093)

On 08/08/2015 at 11:53pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

#21454901
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28246) - you deserved it (2827)

On 08/11/2015 at 7:05pm - work - by NotJobbing (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML

#21454203
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28116) - you deserved it (1555)

On 08/10/2015 at 8:23am - work - by RetailRage (man) - United States (California)

Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML

#21455905
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27992) - you deserved it (1521)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ukraine (Donets'ka Oblast')

Today, an hour into a family road trip, my mother informed me that she didn't put my suitcase in the car because it "didn't fit". FML

#21450453
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27919) - you deserved it (1896)

On 08/01/2015 at 1:17pm - misc - by Son of a Bitch - United States

Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML

#21450259
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (2625)

On 08/01/2015 at 12:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML

#21453336
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (3077)

On 08/08/2015 at 12:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my period started again. I just finished a 17-day period 3 days ago. FML

#21459211
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27692) - you deserved it (1776)

On 08/22/2015 at 6:47am - health - by period pains - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

#21455147
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27466) - you deserved it (2399)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by Why Me - United States (Washington)

Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML

#21453154
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27116) - you deserved it (1696)

On 08/07/2015 at 1:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents told me they were getting divorced, at the beginning of a family road trip, adding that this'll be the last thing we ever do as a family. FML

#21453738
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27015) - you deserved it (1486)

On 08/09/2015 at 2:27am - misc - by jordan.marie97 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML

#21455219
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (2015)

On 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by NoTattoo (man) -



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