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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my live-in mother-in-law brazenly swiped most of the money from my wallet, then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened. The worst thing is that my wife believes anything she says, so I can't do a damn thing about it. FML

#21060189
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42838) - you deserved it (4408)

On 02/14/2014 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

#21050427
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42743) - you deserved it (4334)

On 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

#21073837
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42652) - you deserved it (3836)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:06am - kids - by Ohgodmother (man) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

#21048056
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42639) - you deserved it (8551)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:53am - misc - by deargodthepain (man) - United States

Today, during a lecture, my teacher jokingly talked about the time he was best buds with George Washington. Another student then asked, "Really? You knew him?" I'm in an advanced placement U.S. history class. FML

#21065125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42636) - you deserved it (3606)

On 02/19/2014 at 12:12am - work - by Dsark (man) - United States (California)

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

#21055217
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42091) - you deserved it (8026)

On 02/09/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by took it - United States (New York)

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

#21054632
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42088) - you deserved it (5060)

On 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by vey (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML

#21057252
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42070) - you deserved it (24899)

On 02/11/2014 at 3:00pm - misc - by FUUUUCK (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42008) - you deserved it (9120)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML

#21062237
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41920) - you deserved it (19283)

On 02/16/2014 at 7:56am - money - by anon - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML

#21063777
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41849) - you deserved it (5224)

On 02/17/2014 at 9:13pm - misc - by Sarri (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41817) - you deserved it (5478)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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