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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

#21053382
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39404) - you deserved it (3187)

On 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mayotte

Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML

#21057082
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39209) - you deserved it (6108) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/11/2014 at 5:01am - work - by norina (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

#21050005
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39145) - you deserved it (3913)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

#21055088
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39131) - you deserved it (10835)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:12am - love - by look before you speak - United States

Today, my daughter asked me the difference between "their" and "they're". This is the same child I've been spending thousands of dollars on to send to law school. FML

#21072333
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39066) - you deserved it (5327)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

#21063397
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39047) - you deserved it (5570)

On 02/17/2014 at 1:28pm - love - by kj1 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38998) - you deserved it (9482)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38970) - you deserved it (6565)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, in the middle of telling my mother about my engagement, she suddenly broke down in tears about her problems at work and her loveless marriage, and abruptly hung up on me. FML

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

#21052943
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38806) - you deserved it (13102)

On 02/06/2014 at 11:48pm - intimacy - by cryface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of looking at cribs and picking out the perfect one for my unborn daughter, the store informed me that they no longer make that crib, even though the model is right there on the sales floor. I had to leave as my hormones got the best of me and I started bawling. FML

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38564) - you deserved it (11756) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France



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