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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I ran into my favorite teacher from high school, the one that really inspired me to become one myself. I told her that I'm in my last year of college preparing to become a teacher, to which she replied, "Wow, they really are letting anyone have a crack at being a teacher these days." FML

#21067542
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43577) - you deserved it (4550)

On 02/21/2014 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

#21067978
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43568) - you deserved it (7691)

On 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, like every day, I had to walk to my bus stop. The only difference today is there was snow and ice over everything. Not only did I slip and fall, soaking both myself and the contents of my bag, the bus driver saw me there at the bus stop and drove straight past. FML

#21051124
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43473) - you deserved it (3680)

On 02/05/2014 at 9:07am - misc - by no snow day (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I logged into my bank account and started crying. Not because of the balance, but because the password is my anniversary with my ex, and it's the only reminder I have of happy days in my life. FML

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

#21063397
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43174) - you deserved it (6409)

On 02/17/2014 at 1:28pm - love - by kj1 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

#21048094
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43172) - you deserved it (3773)

On 02/02/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML

#21054692
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43110) - you deserved it (3869)

On 02/08/2014 at 6:24pm - animals - by sciencesadness (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43109) - you deserved it (5842)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42934) - you deserved it (7480)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42802) - you deserved it (3763)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)



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