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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I ran into my favorite teacher from high school, the one that really inspired me to become one myself. I told her that I'm in my last year of college preparing to become a teacher, to which she replied, "Wow, they really are letting anyone have a crack at being a teacher these days." FML

#21067542
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45692) - you deserved it (4745)

On 02/21/2014 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, like every day, I had to walk to my bus stop. The only difference today is there was snow and ice over everything. Not only did I slip and fall, soaking both myself and the contents of my bag, the bus driver saw me there at the bus stop and drove straight past. FML

#21051124
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45564) - you deserved it (3890)

On 02/05/2014 at 9:07am - misc - by no snow day (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

#21048143
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45388) - you deserved it (6095)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I aced my solo during my band concert. My parents were asleep the whole time. FML

Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There was around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is and doesn't think it exists. FML

#21066140
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45299) - you deserved it (3275)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

#21067978
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45277) - you deserved it (7948)

On 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45223) - you deserved it (7926)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

#21055088
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45015) - you deserved it (13201)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:12am - love - by look before you speak - United States

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44991) - you deserved it (4206)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44925) - you deserved it (6006)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44767) - you deserved it (3929)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)



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