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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

#21067820
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43019) - you deserved it (7670)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43004) - you deserved it (5832)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML

#21054692
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42974) - you deserved it (3864)

On 02/08/2014 at 6:24pm - animals - by sciencesadness (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML

Today, I aced my solo during my band concert. My parents were asleep the whole time. FML

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42693) - you deserved it (3756)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

#21048143
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42559) - you deserved it (5767)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

#21070365
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42492) - you deserved it (4048)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm - animals - by Good choice cat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42486) - you deserved it (19788)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

#21071374
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42366) - you deserved it (4186)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

#21063397
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42288) - you deserved it (6320)

On 02/17/2014 at 1:28pm - love - by kj1 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42129) - you deserved it (21893)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)



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