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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

#21052599
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45821) - you deserved it (4041)

On 02/06/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

#21060455
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45719) - you deserved it (8006)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:23pm - love - by fuck you right back, cockspit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my parents about the amazing guy I met. My mom immediately stormed out. My dad got up, looked at me and told me he's disappointed in me for "falling into the traps of the Internet," and leaves. I didn't meet him on the Internet. FML

#21073930
91 comments

Today, I logged into my bank account and started crying. Not because of the balance, but because the password is my anniversary with my ex, and it's the only reminder I have of happy days in my life. FML

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45348) - you deserved it (5754)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45280) - you deserved it (3433)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

#21070365
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45001) - you deserved it (4292)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm - animals - by Good choice cat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

#21067820
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44973) - you deserved it (7951)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran into my favorite teacher from high school, the one that really inspired me to become one myself. I told her that I'm in my last year of college preparing to become a teacher, to which she replied, "Wow, they really are letting anyone have a crack at being a teacher these days." FML

#21067542
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44873) - you deserved it (4685)

On 02/21/2014 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There was around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is and doesn't think it exists. FML

#21066140
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44586) - you deserved it (3226)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

#21048143
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44566) - you deserved it (5984)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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