Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45782) - you deserved it (13803)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45290) - you deserved it (14737) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45216) - you deserved it (3429)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML

#21052729
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45178) - you deserved it (5381)

On 02/06/2014 at 8:32pm - health - by sashimi9999 - United States (California)

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

#21056743
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44808) - you deserved it (9379)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm - animals - by alii2349 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

#21052599
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44711) - you deserved it (3942)

On 02/06/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

#21060455
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44603) - you deserved it (7885)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:23pm - love - by fuck you right back, cockspit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

#21049461
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44587) - you deserved it (6126)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I told my parents about the amazing guy I met. My mom immediately stormed out. My dad got up, looked at me and told me he's disappointed in me for "falling into the traps of the Internet," and leaves. I didn't meet him on the Internet. FML

#21073930
91 comments

Today, a guy drove straight into an intersection, running a stop sign and narrowly missing my car. I had to swerve into a snow bank to avoid him. He stopped long enough to see that I had a toddler in my car, before flipping me off and driving away. FML

#21058102
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44354) - you deserved it (3320)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44222) - you deserved it (9488)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44174) - you deserved it (6234)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: