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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom and I flew three hours from Wyoming to a volleyball camp in Kentucky. When we arrived, we went to the volleyball center and told them I was there for the volleyball camp. They told me it had been cancelled two weeks ago and they forgot to call us. FML

#21066263
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52655) - you deserved it (3835)

On 02/20/2014 at 3:57am - health - by maddengirl12 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52367) - you deserved it (10225)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML

#21071970
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52110) - you deserved it (4779)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:31am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51991) - you deserved it (3712)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

#21068474
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51914) - you deserved it (7958)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51736) - you deserved it (5936)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

#21060497
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51686) - you deserved it (4844)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:57pm - love - by jacey chreyest (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51391) - you deserved it (18779)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, during an important exam, I had a huge panic attack and had to run out of the exam hall. Everyone saw me, and now everywhere I go, people keep pretending to have a panic attack and run away from me. I have to spend two more years with these assholes. FML

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

#21057121
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51098) - you deserved it (8545)

On 02/11/2014 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

#21050703
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50848) - you deserved it (5160)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm - love - by BigLove (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50692) - you deserved it (18431)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

#21046882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50590) - you deserved it (3866)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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