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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my team suffered a humiliating loss against our biggest rivals. My family was pretty supportive, though, but only because they'd taken bets against me from the start. FML

#21047385
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36337) - you deserved it (3558)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

#21052048
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36284) - you deserved it (7530)

On 02/06/2014 at 1:57am - love - by a2 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36248) - you deserved it (6289)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my cat pissed all over my work clothes. They weren't even on the floor, she knocked the hanger down just so she could use them as a toilet. FML

#21073377
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36034) - you deserved it (4430)

On 02/27/2014 at 5:42pm - animals - by baxeh - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML

#21063588
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36010) - you deserved it (3082)

On 02/17/2014 at 5:41pm - work - by kdubz23 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35954) - you deserved it (40474)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally asked the cashier at Wendy's how much their 99 cent chicken nuggets were. I guess he is still laughing at me. FML

#21056193
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35933) - you deserved it (18822)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML

#21062479
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35846) - you deserved it (3466)

On 02/16/2014 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after 3 weeks of hard work, I finally finished painting my room. Apparently my 6-year-old brother thought I wasn't done and that he should help me out. I now have little red handprints all over my white walls. FML

#21063710
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35714) - you deserved it (4693)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:01pm - kids - by LittleArtist - United States (Alabama)

Today, I confessed my love for the girl I like, on the forum she moderates. She responded by banning me. FML

#21074335
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35583) - you deserved it (14724) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2014 at 4:26pm - love - by Depirama (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

#21067749
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35401) - you deserved it (16512)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by Cuntface McGee (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I went to a family reunion. I laughed at my uncle's Sylvester Stallone impression. Turns out he had a stroke a while back. FML

#21066428
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35364) - you deserved it (15002)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by heyadrian - United States (California)

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

#21055293
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35186) - you deserved it (6257)

On 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by jigglepuff - United States (Arizona)



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