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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML

#21063588
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37103) - you deserved it (3173)

On 02/17/2014 at 5:41pm - work - by kdubz23 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after 10 months of hard work, it was the opening night of the show I was directing. Everybody loved it, except my mother. She called it the worst thing she'd ever seen. Thanks for the support, mum. FML

#21065609
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37084) - you deserved it (3166)

On 02/19/2014 at 4:33pm - work - by Disappointed (woman) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36861) - you deserved it (2917)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

#21067749
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36848) - you deserved it (17222)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by Cuntface McGee (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, the highlight of my day was when I figured out that my little brother's toy dump truck could actually dump stuff out. I'm 18. FML

#21048030
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36782) - you deserved it (7237)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by LarissaT18 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36695) - you deserved it (3435)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received a response to my perfectly straightforward online dating profile: "How about changing a dirty diaper, mommy?" FML

#21067330
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36621) - you deserved it (5215)

On 02/21/2014 at 3:04am - intimacy - by sadlysingle (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML

#21072669
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you deserved it (3300)

On 02/26/2014 at 10:28pm - work - by Lori_ftw - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

#21052048
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36371) - you deserved it (7539)

On 02/06/2014 at 1:57am - love - by a2 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36354) - you deserved it (6302)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML

#21066977
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35975) - you deserved it (6885)

On 02/20/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by management - United States

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

#21055293
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35873) - you deserved it (6348)

On 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by jigglepuff - United States (Arizona)

Today, after 3 weeks of hard work, I finally finished painting my room. Apparently my 6-year-old brother thought I wasn't done and that he should help me out. I now have little red handprints all over my white walls. FML

#21063710
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35830) - you deserved it (4704)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:01pm - kids - by LittleArtist - United States (Alabama)



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