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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40331) - you deserved it (15062)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

#21071750
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40216) - you deserved it (15734)

On 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a response to my perfectly straightforward online dating profile: "How about changing a dirty diaper, mommy?" FML

#21067330
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40107) - you deserved it (5699)

On 02/21/2014 at 3:04am - intimacy - by sadlysingle (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

#21061598
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40019) - you deserved it (4592)

On 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by fuck my goddamn life (man) - United States

Today, I was driving through the mountains and there was a chain requirement. I went to put them on and found a note where my chains used to be saying, "Have fun in a blizzard now bitch" from my ex. FML

#21062139
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39943) - you deserved it (6072)

On 02/16/2014 at 2:37am - misc - by snowlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

#21073274
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39928) - you deserved it (5865)

On 02/27/2014 at 3:58pm - animals - by ricard0 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was let go from work because they need "younger people". I'm 19 and I work at a flower market. FML

#21067284
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39880) - you deserved it (2954)

On 02/21/2014 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML

#21049681
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39840) - you deserved it (4239)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by lbailey32 - United States (New York)

Today, it was the first dress rehearsal at a community theater. I'm playing a grandma to a bunch of little kids, and the guy who is playing the grandpa wears a fat suit. I put on my costume and one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Are you wearing a fat suit too?" and pokes my stomach. FML

#21059569
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39773) - you deserved it (6515)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by EmmaleeSupertramp (woman) - United States

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

#21050427
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39744) - you deserved it (4069)

On 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

#21071350
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39729) - you deserved it (3301)

On 02/25/2014 at 3:42pm - work - by cunting cuntface of a boss (man) - Australia

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

#21057520
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39709) - you deserved it (4686)

On 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm - money - by dumbwifehappylife (man) - United States (Maryland)



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