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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

#21073837
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39470) - you deserved it (3529)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:06am - kids - by Ohgodmother (man) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML

#21072334
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39431) - you deserved it (3946)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

#21055217
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39063) - you deserved it (7507)

On 02/09/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by took it - United States (New York)

Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML

#21062398
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39036) - you deserved it (3641)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:22pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my car was found with a smashed window and a torn-apart steering column, in order to hot-wire it. The thief didn't get away with my car, though. The engine was in the garage, where I've been working on it for two days. FML

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

#21057520
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39022) - you deserved it (4616)

On 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm - money - by dumbwifehappylife (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML

#21063777
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38950) - you deserved it (4936)

On 02/17/2014 at 9:13pm - misc - by Sarri (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38946) - you deserved it (8552)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without turning the gas on. FML

#21066280
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38878) - you deserved it (4747)

On 02/20/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

#21071350
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38850) - you deserved it (3233)

On 02/25/2014 at 3:42pm - work - by cunting cuntface of a boss (man) - Australia

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

#21054270
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38798) - you deserved it (6791)

On 02/08/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by grandma - United States (Georgia)

Today, I've been without hot water for three days thanks to a frozen water line. I finally managed to thaw the frozen area, only to have the chunk of ice dislodge, slam into a bend in the pipe, and burst the line. FML

#21046497
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38736) - you deserved it (5722)

On 01/31/2014 at 7:40pm - misc - by IceQueen - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

#21073274
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38669) - you deserved it (5716)

On 02/27/2014 at 3:58pm - animals - by ricard0 (man) - United States (California)



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