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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML

#21017924
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49301) - you deserved it (3786)

On 01/05/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I had to explain to my parents why it is inappropriate to take selfies at a funeral. FML

#21018330
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49218) - you deserved it (4242)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm - kids - by rain1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

#21024175
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49184) - you deserved it (5488)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

#21027083
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49112) - you deserved it (5724)

On 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm - misc - by ShelterForTheHomless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

#21043231
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49050) - you deserved it (3834)

On 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm - work - by soon to be unemployed (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

#21016206
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48987) - you deserved it (22262)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

#21025526
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48978) - you deserved it (3596)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48916) - you deserved it (9574)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

#21027337
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48782) - you deserved it (7614)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by rholt (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML

#21042109
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48762) - you deserved it (11232)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

#21037288
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48711) - you deserved it (10861)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by fappy dog - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

#21034014
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48642) - you deserved it (32841)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

#21012251
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48461) - you deserved it (5177)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:04am - love - by dantko (man) - United States (Michigan)



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