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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49510) - you deserved it (17643)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to explain to my father that when my friends sleep over, it's not acceptable to sneak into my room in the middle of the night and dig through their stuff. FML

#21039686
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49474) - you deserved it (3995)

On 01/25/2014 at 3:34pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife told my 7-year-old son that he looks just like me. He began crying and said, "I don't want to be ugly like him." FML

#21025291
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49355) - you deserved it (4453)

On 01/12/2014 at 3:03am - kids - by -_- - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49318) - you deserved it (4802)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

#21023843
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49244) - you deserved it (7604)

On 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by lukas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML

#21019082
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49221) - you deserved it (20345)

On 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

#21043113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49151) - you deserved it (3911)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by Order of the Dangling Testicles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML

#21037274
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49085) - you deserved it (5132)

On 01/23/2014 at 3:57pm - love - by heartbrokenhaley - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

#21033078
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49077) - you deserved it (10032)

On 01/19/2014 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

#21025169
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49075) - you deserved it (4550)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:26am - love - by spitball101 - Australia

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

#21036028
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48848) - you deserved it (3850)

On 01/22/2014 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML

#21031747
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48645) - you deserved it (5772)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML



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