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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend sent me a link to a Vine video in which she dumped me. FML

#21020871
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51136) - you deserved it (4059)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Jae_Hellyun (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51019) - you deserved it (4183)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50807) - you deserved it (5483)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50739) - you deserved it (7903)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, I sang "happy birthday" to my best friend. Sadly, it was while waitressing at work, where they were having a celebration I hadn't been invited to in the first place. FML

#21024621
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50641) - you deserved it (3808)

On 01/11/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by left out - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend is still obsessed with me. Apparently he named his dog after me and talks to her like she's a real person. FML

#21018719
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50446) - you deserved it (6024)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Seriously? -

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49931) - you deserved it (6255)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

#21044466
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49883) - you deserved it (21908)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

#21031087
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49786) - you deserved it (6304)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49716) - you deserved it (4493)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

#21028727
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49704) - you deserved it (8251)

On 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

#21020358
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49571) - you deserved it (9356)

On 01/07/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by owl + bungee cord (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49529) - you deserved it (9317)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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