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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63128) - you deserved it (3064)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57264) - you deserved it (3816)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54052) - you deserved it (4167)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States

Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML

#20989738
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53219) - you deserved it (3071)

On 12/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by >.> (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

#20983710
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53099) - you deserved it (15700)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
199 comments

Today, I went to get a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51990) - you deserved it (3068)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51966) - you deserved it (6864)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51169) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50669) - you deserved it (2504)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49623) - you deserved it (2359)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)



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