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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43404) - you deserved it (2923)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43326) - you deserved it (3500)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

#20962468
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43131) - you deserved it (5846)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42970) - you deserved it (2971)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42934) - you deserved it (7991)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, I was cussed out by a customer who was unhappy, and he asked to speak with my manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are "too flaky" to run a bakery properly. FML

#20964215
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42846) - you deserved it (2833)

On 11/20/2013 at 2:59am - work - by bakingwomannnnnnnn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

#20960472
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42838) - you deserved it (12896)

On 11/17/2013 at 1:00am - misc - by LizGo - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42823) - you deserved it (2769)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42807) - you deserved it (7691)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turns to me and says in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

#20953649
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42740) - you deserved it (2826)

On 11/11/2013 at 5:36am - work - by shut up. - New Zealand

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42590) - you deserved it (7638)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42574) - you deserved it (12827)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)



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