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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40223) - you deserved it (4980)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40221) - you deserved it (7939)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend's ex moved into the apartment beneath us. She's already called the cops on us for a noise complaint twice. We were sleeping. It's going to be a long year. FML

#20955154
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40218) - you deserved it (2221)

On 11/12/2013 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

#20951236
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40145) - you deserved it (3057)

On 11/09/2013 at 9:15am - work - by fmylyfe (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39916) - you deserved it (2703)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML

#20960170
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39870) - you deserved it (6247)

On 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39868) - you deserved it (9264)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was cussed out by a customer who was unhappy, and he asked to speak with my manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are "too flaky" to run a bakery properly. FML

#20964215
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39760) - you deserved it (2556)

On 11/20/2013 at 2:59am - work - by bakingwomannnnnnnn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML

#20946407
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39704) - you deserved it (2366)

On 11/05/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by GDubeau24 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, after making several comments about how I didn't exactly look thin, my boyfriend said, "Well, at least we know you'll look good pregnant." FML

#20954137
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (9109)

On 11/11/2013 at 4:41pm - love - by Cheer4Life (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML

#20948987
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39621) - you deserved it (3476)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39515) - you deserved it (11467)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)



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