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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found myself admiring my eyelids for being the only parts of my face not covered in acne. FML

#20960938
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41273) - you deserved it (3621)

On 11/17/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41254) - you deserved it (2731)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41233) - you deserved it (3809)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML

#20947685
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41133) - you deserved it (3445)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003. FML

#20963285
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41117) - you deserved it (2133)

On 11/19/2013 at 11:50am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

#20963690
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41098) - you deserved it (2870)

On 11/19/2013 at 7:19pm - love - by unwantedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

#20969207
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41057) - you deserved it (2965)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41051) - you deserved it (3273)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40981) - you deserved it (3675)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40642) - you deserved it (7325)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

#20960472
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40620) - you deserved it (11785)

On 11/17/2013 at 1:00am - misc - by LizGo - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

#20973886
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40452) - you deserved it (7533)

On 11/28/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by aaannnddd there goes my boner (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turns to me and says in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

#20953649
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40362) - you deserved it (2393)

On 11/11/2013 at 5:36am - work - by shut up. - New Zealand



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