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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

#20968871
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46979) - you deserved it (3648)

On 11/24/2013 at 11:01am - love - by fries - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46905) - you deserved it (5341)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46627) - you deserved it (4269)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML

#20950736
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46545) - you deserved it (2486)

On 11/08/2013 at 8:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

#20973561
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46517) - you deserved it (5665)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML

#20944947
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46464) - you deserved it (3337)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:08am - work - by twitterfailsme (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML

#20947685
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46438) - you deserved it (4243)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my parents grounded me for being "addicted" to drugs because I've been taking pain meds every four hours. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, and my face is badly swollen. FML

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

#20947778
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46300) - you deserved it (4874)

On 11/06/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by s3xygrandpa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46164) - you deserved it (4615)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

#20967242
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46129) - you deserved it (4677)

On 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm - love - by quit fucking up my life (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46123) - you deserved it (3157)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

#20975074
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46064) - you deserved it (11290)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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