Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42407) - you deserved it (4565)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML

#20950736
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42400) - you deserved it (2176)

On 11/08/2013 at 8:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

#20952236
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42355) - you deserved it (4117)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by notgettinsome - Australia

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

#20973561
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42327) - you deserved it (5201)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

#20975844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42229) - you deserved it (5630)

On 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by yulis (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42204) - you deserved it (3917)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

#20964854
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42186) - you deserved it (2461)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:53pm - health - by ChestExploding (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41891) - you deserved it (4351)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

#20959350
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41881) - you deserved it (3494)

On 11/16/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by CODgirl102 - United States (Florida)

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

#20947778
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41867) - you deserved it (4382)

On 11/06/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by s3xygrandpa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my two and a half year-old son Trick or Treating for the first time in our new neighborhood. At the very first house, a girl told us we were too early and slammed the door in our face. My son cried. FML

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

#20975074
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41806) - you deserved it (10133)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

#20968871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41718) - you deserved it (3143)

On 11/24/2013 at 11:01am - love - by fries - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: